This is a reply that I received from Ashley:-
“I agree. To think of helping others not only helps yourself in the healing process after recovery, but in turn you can help others that haven’t finished their journey of recovery.
Everyone always asks ‘why me’ when faced with a serious illness or disease but my girlfriend who battled with cancer for years (and had two small children), never asked that question. Instead she used to say “it was me for a reason”.
Somehow she believed that her illness would help others, even if it was people she met and inspired to stay strong during treatment and recovery. Of course you never want to leave your children at such a young age but before she passed she said that she hoped it was all for a reason.
Even though she was sad that she wouldn’t be there for her kids, she wanted them to grow up and want to help others too; either by becoming a doctor or hopefully trying to find a cure. We should all have such an inspiring outlook on life and if we are lucky enough to have recovered from a tragic illness or injury, it is important to look to help others that could really use your experience in a positive way.”
I responded to this heart wrenching story by saying:-
“I was really touched by your story Ashley. Your girlfriend must have been such a strong lady – you must have been so proud of her. In your grief you are still able to see that there must have been a reason.
I am not sure how close you are to her children, but I hope that you can encourage them to constantly look for that ‘reason’ as they grow older. Have you thought of writing a book? I feel that you have a lot to say that could help others. My very warm wishes to you. Barb”
When we do recover from a serious illness, it is often too easy to forget about those that do not recover. The loved ones left behind have to somehow cope with the loss and it is often easier for them if they, too, can think about how to help others who may also be struggling with illness.
I would love to hear some stories of what you have done to help you through your grieving process of losing a loved one through illness.
Hints and Tips
Don’t try to lay blame or even to understand why you are suffering from a serious illness. Just accept that this has happened as it does to so many folk. The sooner you can accept it and spend your valuable time helping others (even if it is just helping your loved ones accept the fate that has chosen you) the better you will feel; and they will feel better too.