Serious Surgery Needs Special Preparation

Serious SurgeryWhen you are about to have serious surgery your family are often more traumatized than you are. You need to take action to ensure that regardless of the outcome, they know just how much you care for them.

Of course you will discuss the forthcoming operation and perhaps even talk about the possible scary scenarios. But many just do not want to talk about the possible outcomes and keep everything inside.

This is not only not good for you; it is really bad for your loved ones. It is true that some close people to you may not be able to cope with such a discussion. When I was operated on to remove my brain tumour, my Mum (who lived with me and I was her carer) aged 91 would not have been able to cope with the full story. So my husband kept her informed with as little of the details as possible. She certainly was not told that the operation was life threatening or that I could be left with a multitude of problems after surgery.

What I did was write a letter to all my loved ones, reminding them of happy days that we had shared. I did not dwell on the surgery, but wanted them to think of me in a very happy and positive way. My husband said it was the most beautiful gift he could have received at such a time.


Tips and Hints

Try to keep the spirits up of your loved ones; it will help keep your spirits up too. Remind them of the great times you have shared with them. Such memories can certainly take the edge of the trauma about to take place with your serious surgery.

28 thoughts on “Serious Surgery Needs Special Preparation

  1. Lisa Perkins

    When my aunt finally had to have surgery to remove the tumor on her brain, I wasn’t quite sure that our family was going to make it through…. Of course, our aunt never knew how we were feeling, and all we made sure to show her was our undevoted Support, Encouragement, and Strength!!!

  2. Jane

    All types of surgery is major. All patients should be well informed prior to surgery. Adverse complications can arise and it is best if the patient is aware of all risks associated with the procedure as they will have a better understanding of the final outcome.

  3. jackson ripper

    Only the rare person escapes having to go under the knife at least once in her lifetime. Surgery is big business for hospitals these days. Over 50 million Americans undergo surgery each year — the majority of whom are women. Most people think of having surgery with some sense of trepidation. Some are quite fearful and avoid the operating room at all costs, often to their disadvantage. There is even a psychiatric disorder where a person demands unnecessary surgery (called Munchausen’s syndrome). Most of us, however, take a deep breath and say “okay” when an operation seems to be a necessary medical decision.

  4. Jack J

    Keeping my mind distracted or focus on good times in the past has helped me through so very serious situations. I suggest at least trying it. Serious surgery can be very stressing and anything that can help is definitely worth trying.

  5. Debbie Boulier

    Serious surgeries can be hard to deal with and of course everyone is different. Just try to be as positive as possible and I believe all question should be answered tactfully and with kindness. Just helping the person who is having the surgery keep a positive attitude really affects the whole surgery process in a good way.

  6. Chris W.

    I agree that sharing happy thoughts and memories with your loved ones can alleviate some of their stress when you are undergoing a risky procedure. There is no point focusing on all the scary details to further alarm them and upset them. It is better just to let them know how much you care.

  7. Kris H

    This is one of my great worries being ill and dying in surgery and the thought of loved ones dwelling on this and not the many moments and love that we shared. I’ll try remember o keep the spirits of those around me positive during such troubling times. Basking in the love of memories rather than than fear of what may come.

  8. Ana B.

    Great post. Yes, you have to make sure your family and friends are doing well. It can be tough on them when you’re going through a serious illness or procedure.

  9. Edward Kent

    Totally agree with you, its a hard thing to do but i guess it makes sense. Bringing up cheerful memories at a such a time can really lift a person and it helps you too seeing your loved ones feeling better, this a great post, really helpful!!

  10. Jeff Fisher

    Good read. Nothing is more important than family. Specially one going through surgery, they’ll always be there for you.

  11. rose

    You are very brave and inspiring. Yes, most people tend to keep their feelings bottled up inside especially if there is a chance of a serious outcome. But your words are correct 🙂

  12. jeffrey

    Having some lengthy talks with your loved one and family members can help both sides to alleviate some of the anxiety that comes with serious surgery. It will build up some confidences and reassure the patient and family members that everything will be fine and there is nothing much to worry about, making the procedure easier to bear for everyone.

  13. Latifah Lewis

    I would not write a letter because in my opinion it makes it seem like you have a higher chance of dying and that is something you dont want to think of when you are having surgery….its not good to be pessimistic about this

    1. Barbara Gabogrecan

      I did not think as a pessimist at all – rather I wanted my loved ones to know just how much they meant to me and what a great time we had had. Perhaps we should do this more often and not have to wit for an illness to encourage us to do it. Imagine if I had died and I had nit shared loving thoughts with those close to me – they would have nothing special to remember me by. Most of them told me how wonderful it was to have in writing such find memories – so it is a matter of how you feel when you write and why you are writing such messages.

  14. Wendy Mitchell

    When I had my left side colon removed my husband was with me and it was so comforting to just have him there. Talking about anything-nothing specific helps to take everyones minds off the surgery and hopefully makes the time go fast.

  15. Mike

    Living with loved ones who have had major surgery is tough. The key is to keep them happy and make sure their lives are fulfilled to the max. Vacations are a great way to take the edge off. Just make sure they are prepared for travel.

  16. Ash Kngsley

    “Sympathy Pains” is more than just an urban myth. I believe in it and experience it myself. We are all connected to each other, especially our loved ones and everyone needs to prepare for something as critical as a surgery.

  17. Samantha R.

    Reminiscing about the good things that have happened seem to help ease family members. You may be scared but it always seems to be just a little bit scarier for them knowing what your about to go through.

  18. Jack

    I agree with you. When you need serious surgery you also need special preparation; preparation is very important.

  19. niraj

    it is very important to have intimate company before taking such big step. As we are affectionate by our loved ones there is huge probability of healing

  20. Seaf Wallace

    Without joy, happiness, and memories, many people will lose the will to live. It is good to share happy moments with loved ones.

  21. Robbie

    Very important to definitely keep the spirits of loved ones up, they are the ones that matter. You may not be the only one who is hurting about it all.

  22. James Davis

    Good advice. It’s easy to forget your family would be as equally stressed as you when in that situation.

  23. bricetester

    Totally Agree when you have some surgery that you need to make on your body you need to be first mentally ready, cause it can something that can affect your whole life so I totally agree with this article!


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